Friday, April 21, 2006

Still Breaking from the Essay

I promised I'd link you a few things. So here they are:
Adelaide's Lament Lyrics
Listen to Adelaide's Lament

And my comedic "A Princess Bride" spoof:

A future meeting between a mob of JJ Fans and AS-P


Junkies: Hello, we are the Luke and Lorelai shippers. You killed our beloved couple. Prepare to die.
AS-P: What?
Junkies: Hello, we are the Luke and Lorelai shippers. You killed our beloved couple. Prepare to die.
AS-P: I don't know what you are talking about.
Junkies: You liar. You lied to us! We are the Luke and Lorelai shippers. You killed our beloved couple. Prepare to die.
[Junkies slice AS-P's cheek]
AS-P: Wait! Spare me...I can give you 2 more Gilmore seasons!
[Junkies slice AS-P's other cheek]
Junkies: Offer us everything we ask for.
AS-P: Any thing you want.
Junkies
: We want our couple back, you son of b***h.



AS-P: So, you're gonna do it? You're gonna 'tar and feather me' to the death?
Junkies: No. To the pain.
AS-P: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Junkies: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
AS-P: That may be the first time in my life a fan has dared insult me.
Junkies: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
AS-P: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Junkies: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
AS-P: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Junkies: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

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