Tuesday, April 25, 2006

6. Emily/Lorelai Essay Part 5- Conclusion

Every individual and rare compliment Emily has given Lorelai damages the foundation in the barrier they keep between each other. Every individual and rare expression Lorelai has made to reconnect with her mom, out of her own free will, weakens the strength of their barrier as well. We have been given few, but many little moments over the seasons to expose the connection these women still have despite whatever keeps them away. It proves that there is always potential for them to bond. And now that foundations have loosened and the winds have changed direction, perhaps we will see this potential expressed on our screens, before the series’ end.

Hopefully, this only gets better. With age, time, and more episodes. May ASP have a plan for these two, have it be a very positive plan, and not waver from it!

P.S. My total and complete guess, is that significant changes occurred during the ‘behind the scenes’ scenes of the episode 6.13 FND. They talked about “You should have married Christopher.” They talked about how Lorelai ran to Emily/Richard for help in 5.22 and they dismissed her and disrespected her. Also, I am ignoring the very likely speculation that Emily and Richard had been searching real estate in Stars Hollow because they were considering buying Luke and Lorelai a house, rather than Emily and Richard seriously considering hauling their high-classism into the small town permanently.

P.P.S. Please feel free to read, review, and uh, since I missed out on SO much stuff that could be talked about and discussed, fill in my blanks. Especially if any singular moments tug at your heartstrings.

So ends my LONG LONG Essay. Hope you liked it...

Sunday, April 23, 2006

5. Emily/Lorelai Essay Part 4
A Look Inside Lorelai Cont...

Another big problem is she often feels like she’s still a child or a rebellious teen who doesn’t deserve respect from them, who constantly is under their watch and control because they don’t think she’s smart enough to make adult decisions for herself. Even little things she is faced over 5 years of this show prove this: Examples include when Lorelai is afraid to let Emily know of her money problems (4.05). In season 5, the big proofs include when, Emily went behind Lorelai’s back to get Christopher because Emily felt that “Lorelai was taking herself down a very disastrous path” and “I had to jump in.” The problem got even bigger when Emily and Richard went against Lorelai and accepted that Rory move in with them, making Lorelai feel not only backstabbed, but as if her parents still do not respect her nor her decisions, even when it comes to raising her own daughter.

She tries to hide her feelings when she can-being sarcastic, making jokes…but in all truth of the matter, Lorelai hates to feel like she’s belittled and disrespected by her mother. And she especially hates the fact that her parents still treat her like a teenager who can’t make the right decisions herself, even when Lorelai has spent 21 years independently making a life for herself that SHE feels is right for her.

I feel the shift starts in episode 6.14, we see the first teeny signs of Emily and Richard’s acceptance of Luke and of Lorelai’s impending marriage. They give legal advice. They show interest in their affairs as a ‘team.’ Emily even compliments Lorelai’s job at the Inn, having a high rating. And Emily, not much sooner, does her annoying Emily thing and puts the news of the wedding in the paper. The more recent episode seems to add more dimension to the shift, and hopefully solidifies the transition. Emily, in her very subtle way, expresses acceptance of Lorelai’s choices in her future. Not only does she compliment the renovations in the living room (not by complimenting it, but by saying 5 times how different it is), but she says “I can see you and Luke here” and compliments the house as being “warm and homey.” In her way, she is showing, little by little, that she is accepting and respecting Lorelai’s decisions in where she lives and where Lorelai feels is her home. The automatic way Emily says “You and Luke” as if they are instinctively paired, shows me that Emily is accepting him.

And by the way Lorelai says the words “Wow. Thank you, Mom,” being taken aback by Emily’s comment, shows how thankful Lorelai really is to hear such flattering, positive words coming from her mother. As Lorelai says in 2.02: “You think your words don’t have any effect on me, but they do.” Nothing is ever further from the truth.

Off-handedly, the fact that the Gilmores are considering getting a place in Stars Hollow (for the kids L/L are going to have), tells me again, that they want to be involved in Lorelai’s life moreso. And not only that, but they are agreeing to do it on LORELAI’S terms. (Without Lorelai’s consent, of course) What a change from the past.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Still Breaking from the Essay

I promised I'd link you a few things. So here they are:
Adelaide's Lament Lyrics
Listen to Adelaide's Lament

And my comedic "A Princess Bride" spoof:

A future meeting between a mob of JJ Fans and AS-P

Junkies: Hello, we are the Luke and Lorelai shippers. You killed our beloved couple. Prepare to die.
AS-P: What?
Junkies: Hello, we are the Luke and Lorelai shippers. You killed our beloved couple. Prepare to die.
AS-P: I don't know what you are talking about.
Junkies: You liar. You lied to us! We are the Luke and Lorelai shippers. You killed our beloved couple. Prepare to die.
[Junkies slice AS-P's cheek]
AS-P: Wait! Spare me...I can give you 2 more Gilmore seasons!
[Junkies slice AS-P's other cheek]
Junkies: Offer us everything we ask for.
AS-P: Any thing you want.
: We want our couple back, you son of b***h.

AS-P: So, you're gonna do it? You're gonna 'tar and feather me' to the death?
Junkies: No. To the pain.
AS-P: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Junkies: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
AS-P: That may be the first time in my life a fan has dared insult me.
Junkies: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
AS-P: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Junkies: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
AS-P: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Junkies: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

4. Breaking Barriers Part 3: A Look Inside Lorelai:

The baggage that Lorelai’s brings to the relationship has been expressed several times in the series.

Episode 1.09

EMILY: She's gonna ruin everything just like you did.

LORELAI: No she's not! No she's not! No she's not! Rory is a good kid, Mom! She's not me.

Episode 2.02

LORELAI: And why is it that when your only daughter tells you that she is getting married, you can't muster up even a little enthusiasm? Even a little fake enthusiasm. Why don't you pretend that you care? I mean, this is the biggest thing to happen to me possibly for the rest of my life, and you dismissed it like I said, 'Hey, I'm thinking of getting a Honda, what do you think?'

EMILY: You're obviously hysterical!

LORELAI: Why don't you care? Why have you never cared? No matter what has happened to me my entire life, you've never been happy for me, and that hurts, Mom, it really hurts!

Episode 2.02
LORELAI: I don't know how to tell you things Mom. Um, I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but we don't communicate very well. When something good happens to me, I'm just afraid you're gonna make me feel bad about it. And when something bad happens to me, I'm always afraid you'll say 'I told you so.' I'm not sure if that's always fair, and I'm sure I share part of the blame for this circle we get into, but you think your words don't have any effect on me, but they do. And, I just didn't want to feel bad about this, so I waited. And I really didn't mean to hurt you.

Episode 2.14
LORELAI: Oh, so now this comes down to something I didn’t do? Don’t put that on me Mother!

Episode 1.09
EMILY: Well if I was so controlling why couldn't I control you running around getting pregnant and throwing our life away.
LORELAI: Get out!
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: You will not come into my house and tell me I threw my life away. Look around, Mom. This is a life. It has a little color in it so it may look a little unfamiliar to you, but it's a life.

Lorelai’s worst fear and worry is she feels her parents don’t accept her-they don’t accept her Stars Hollow life, her choices…and her assumptions that her parents will always point out her screw-ups just to remind her when she’s wrong masks her vulnerable fear that she’s not good enough, that she’s a disappointment for them (episode 1.10).

Sunday, April 09, 2006

3. Emily/Lorelai Essay Part 2

A Look Inside Emily:

Emily’s baggage is so sad. It’s the feeling like “I lost her.” We’ve seen Emily express her fears of ‘losing’ her daughter (again), countless times, whether in little moments or big ones. It’s heartbreaking, remembering that, for 15 years, Lorelai had almost completely cut contact from her own parents. We are reminded of the fact that Lorelai’s behaviour had made both Richard and Emily feel they lost their daughter; in retrospect, for fifteen years, they really did. If Lorelai had not needed the money for Chilton, they still would feel that way.

Episode 1.01

EMILY: You took that girl and completely shut us out of your life.

Episode 1.15

GRANDPA: And then you run away and treat us like lepers. Your mother couldn’t get out of bed for a month. Did you know that? Did you?


GRANDPA: We did nothing to deserve that. Nothing to earn that!

Episode 1.19
EMILY: You hated us that much?

EMILY: I saw it. I saw that horrible little pit you so proudly ran to. I saw what you chose over your own family. You would've lived in the gutter, in the street, it a cardboard box, anywhere as long as you didn't have to be near us, isn't that true?

Even through the show’s running, it hurt Emily so much that her daughter was always out of her reach-always wanted to be farther away from her. Emily tried to buffer that by making family dinners obligatory and stalking Rory’s high school life in the meantime. But the baggage underneath is tough-although Emily tries to keep hold of Lorelai, she knows, and feels, that she really doesn’t have that control…The saddest expression of her worst feelings and baggage is in 6.09-the everything she says about Rory, the way Emily was so hurt by it, you could feel that Lorelai’s past behaviour hurt her just as much, if not more. But the absolute worst feeling for Emily is that feeling that, no matter how hard she’ll try, and not by anything she does deliberately, she still lost her daughter, and whatever strings she currently has to keep Lorelai within her grasp are only temporary.

Episode 1.09
EMILY: You're going to lose her. You're going to lose her just like I lost you.

Episode 1.18

GRANDMA: She’ll never come back here you know…Lorelai.


GRANDMA: If she gets that money, Lorelai will never come back here. She won’t have to.

Episode 6.09

EMILY: The way she talked to me, you would have been very proud..
EMILY: Oh, yes. She looked at me just like you used to. With that defiant, "who are you to be telling me what to do?" sort of look. Then she left. Packed her things and moved out when I wasn't even there to see her go. No "thank you", no "goodbye". You would have been very, very proud…I lost her like I lost you. Feels remarkably similar to me.

In reality, Emily keeps getting her heart broken whenever Lorelai cuts her off emotionally, especially through the show’s run. From fights, to boyfriends, to proposals, to declining dinner invites.

Episode 2.01
EMILY: Our daughter is getting married. She's getting married and she didn't tell us. When Rory decides to get married, I'd like her to tell us. Call her tomorrow. [Emily leaves, starts to cry]

Episode 2.02

LORELAI: Do you know how it felt for me to tell you that I was getting married and to have you just brush it off like that? Do you know?

EMILY: No, I don't, I don't know! Possibly very similar to finding out from a complete stranger that my only daughter was getting married and had told every other person in the world before she bothered to tell her own mother. Possibly it felt something like that. Now if you'll excuse me, it is late, and I am going to bed.

And don’t forget that for several episodes in season 6, Lorelai had cut all contact from Emily, making Emily feel worse, as if now, her worst fear of losing Lorelai has re-emerged, and leading to the emotional breakdown on the plane. (Honourable mentions: 6.07-not telling Emily she was engaged, AGAIN).

In 6.09, ASP brings in the most touching, quickest, seemingly throw-away line (which nobody ever expected) which suggests, perhaps, that the baggage will pass over. And you didn’t lose me. Only with this, and following such, the re-instation of no-strings attached family dinners, does Emily feel closer to her daughter. She isn’t devastated when she learns the wedding date has been set without her (6.14), but merely follows through on her tasks to be involved. She plans to MOVE to Stars Hollow, figuring it’ll be okay. This is not the action of a mother, who feels a constant fear of losing her daughter…not anymore, IMO. This is a mother, who now feels closer, and more comfortable to, in Emily-style, get as involved in her daughter’s life as she feels entitled to.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

2. Emily/Lorelai Essay Part 1

Breaking Barriers
An informal analysis of the conflicts in the Lorelai/Emily Relationship
By: MickeyJr
Dedicated to the Misinterpreters and Vicious Trollups at Fanforum.


That scene in 6.17 was such a touching mother/daughter moment: “I can see you and Luke here.” “Wow…thanks Mom.’ I think what makes is so great, is LG’s delivery of her line. Seriously, her and Kelly Bishop are nothing less than astonishing in their scenes together. I’m getting all teary eyed just thinking of the scene, how Emily, in her own non-chalent, way, is expressing acceptance of Lorelai’s choice in home and in partner. I felt like Lorelai felt. Aww…it’s just such a moment that we rarely see in Gilmore Girls-a moment when the protective walls both women have created between them melt away, and you realize how close they are and can be, despite their heavy history. I just get so excited, knowing that, although Lorelai feels inclined to push Emily away from a Stars Hollow visit, as much as she SAYS she’s annoyed with seeing her mother (as it sometimes happens to be IRL anyway), nevertheless, they are still mother and daughter, and they are keeping their bonds. How, I don’t know…some sort of emotional thing.

Anyway, this scene just made me start thinking about how the Mother/Daughter relationship has significantly altered within two scenes this season. The most significant things about their relationship, which we’ve been told for years, has changed so that the relationship has almost turned on its axis. There is something so compelling about this relationship in this show, that I have to step in and write an essay. Don’t mind me.

What makes this season so good, is the ‘tables have turned’ aspect shown in 6.09 and 6.17 knocking us pleasantly off balance. The relationship between mother/daughter has been written for 5 years as being complicated and tense…both bring a lot of baggage to their relationship and both have important problems they could never get over, which have helped found and maintain the barriers they keep between each other. I hope my analysis is in tune with where ASP is going in her family story.